Tuesday, February 1, 2011

How I Did Not Lose My Virginity

Hey ya'll, sorry for the gaps in between posts. Full-Time student and just general apathy can be a bit of a hindrance. Anyways STORY TIME!

This bit takes place before both "Coming of Age Story's". That's right, this blog is getting all Tarantino on you. I think this was around October of 2006. It was homecoming and my senior year in High School. But these facts didn't really matter since my school spirit was about as existent as my sex life at the time. Seeing as how at this point in my life I've have yet to even make out with a girl...yeah I didn't give a shit about my high school's homecoming and the football game at all. I knew some friends of mine were planning on going but I pretty much had planned to stay home and play Halo 2 (oh those were the days...) or something. But a friend of mine was going to his old schools homecoming game to hang out with his old crew and asked if I wanted to come along. Now this friend of mine was kind of a anomaly because well he was one of the few minority's we had in our town. My High School town was ALL white with a few asians thrown in on occasion and we had a black kid for a few weeks before the family moved again. Anyways my friend was a half white/half mexican who was raised by his all black stepfather. He grew up in one of the more ghettoish suburbs (as in it was like 10 minutes from the city) so he always acted more "hood" then any of us. Now why am I bringing these things up? Glad you asked imaginary person. You see whenever my friend visited his old friends he would tell us how they would all get together and call some girls and would either run train on her or each one would have their own girl to get head from or whatever they fancied. Now maybe it was because at that time I hadn't developed any kind of game at all, but we didn't do things like that in our safe little white bred town. But this was the norm there (may also have something to do with him and his friends were all tall muscular football players) and I got invited to hang with people and pretty much guaranteed to get laid. As a virgin who hadn't even kissed a girl at the time this sounded VERY appealing. So I went with my friend to his old school's homecoming game.

It's a very curious thing going from a white dominated area to a more urban setting. I was very much out of my element but I enjoyed myself at the football game none the less. My friends old best bud Dennis was a wide receiver and was actually good at it so it was cool watching him burn the defense. Eventually the football game ended, and then we waited around for what seemed like forever and eventually Dennis was ready to leave. Memory gets a little hazy as to what happens right after this point. I think we drove to the city and went to some random cook-off thing. I just remember it was weird, though good food though. Soul food is good food. Then we left the city and went to some random dude's house who I swear looked just like 50 cent. I'm not being racist either, he had the white do-rag and everything. Anyways memory gets hazy again.....I think we watched soccer....I may be getting my time-lines mixed up but meh, fuck it, it's not like ya'll will know the discrepancies.

Anyways so it was me, my friend and these 2 other dudes chilling. They were calling girls to "smash on" and it was proving more difficult then thought. Eventually they found a girl down to fuck in the middle of nowhere. So we all piled into the car and drove off to the boonies and got the girl. She was....homely. Not an uggo but she was one of those girls that puts out just so she can get the attention she so clearly desires. Kinda sad, it was weird seeing an actual slut. We drive around and the 2 guys in the back are already getting all grabby with the girl trying to get a blowjob or something. I'm already kinda regretting my decision to come out here. Not sure what I was expecting but now finding myself in the reality of the situation left me feeling very uncomfortable. We drive to some closed supermarket and park behind it. Since my friend was driving us around he got the first turn with her. He hops into the backseat and me and the 2 other guys are waiting outside the car for our turns, the "pussy waiting room" if you will. The two guys are trying to figure out how to talk the girl into letting them double team her. Not sure why they are so adamant about going at the same time, I always found the idea of double teaming a chick to be kinda gay for my tastes but hey whatever floats your boat.

The backseat door all of a sudden opens and my friend hops out with pants around ankles "AWWW SHIT, I got it all over my hand." I guess in the midst of pulling out he nutted all over his hand. We all laughed. The two other guys anyways go hop in the back with the girl, I guess they succeeded in convincing her for the double team. Me and my friend sat outside talking, he mentioned how me doing this maybe wasn't such a good idea. At this point I'd be the 4th person that would be inside of her this night. Whole thing seemed kinda grimy and I was anything but excited or aroused. But I really wanted to get laid or at least make out and grab some tit. But she did have just 3 other guys in her and who knows what was just her in her mouth. I'm pretty open minded but even I draw the line at some point. The two other guys finish and I decide that I'm not going to do anything. Yay morals (or something of that sort)!

We drive off and go to some party, once again I'm the only white person there, the girl we were with asked if she could crash the night at the dudes house we were at, he said sure if he can hit that. I was utterly astounded by this level of ho'ness that this girl had achieved. I played some madden and fell asleep on the couch somewhere. Woke up and we went back home the next day, turns out our football team lost (no surprise) and some of my chick friends were "really disappointed" in me. Though they gave me some slack when they found out I didn't do anything.

But after that night I vowed to never be in the "pussy waiting room" ever again.

15 comments:

  1. Hhaha this story had me laughing like crazy and full of "wtf" moments. Loved it man, keep it coming when you can.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Foreign man-seed is not what I qualify as an acceptable form of lubrication.

    ReplyDelete
  3. There are times when I wish I had cool stories like this to tell, but alas, my life is fairly boring.

    ReplyDelete
  4. That's not just morals, that's just hygiene. I wouldn't touch that either.

    ReplyDelete
  5. lmao! did he drive after he got it on his hand? xD

    funny stuff. check my blog i'll be posting some lulz as well.

    http://illblogyouinthemouth.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  6. this story was funny as hell. Hope more will come soon.

    ReplyDelete
  7. lmfao i laughed so hard, keep posting

    ReplyDelete
  8. Didn't they have some beer with them? Should've picked up a six pack to rinse and clean the girl. On the other hand, some bottles of water should be fine, too. But yeah, if you have any romantic sense,a gangbang is probably the wrong start ...

    ReplyDelete
  9. I wouldn't say I'm that much of a romantic but the whole thing just felt grimy. Plus sense that incident really one of the more appealing parts of getting laid is the sense of accomplishment of actually earning it and winning the sex. Just having someone give it to you in order to pass the time is kinda boring ya know?

    ReplyDelete
  10. This is a great block. Ill check it everyday for updays and stuff like that. Good Job, be sure to follow my blog thanks,

    ReplyDelete
  11. that bitch is a slut.lol. 3 dudes.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Yeah, cool story :) But I would recommend to do smth with the text color and the background color, because while reading this my eyes started to hurt and :D

    ReplyDelete