Monday, February 28, 2011


I called a 12 year old a cunt. Honestly thought she was older. Just figured I should share this milestone with all of you.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

What's on tonight

As part of trying to handle more things in my favorite mediums I will try and do a rundown of what's on tonight. When they are available I'll try and post links of the stream if you didn't catch it on TV.

The Oscars- I already said I have a man crush on James Franco and I did very much enjoy Anne Hathaway's boobs in "Love and other drugs" but I don't have the patience to deal with award shows. Much better to just catch the highlights the next day since someone out there will put up a mashup.

Californiacation- David Duchovny (sp?) as a sex addicted writer in California. Frankly I liked the 1st season the best but I like the hijinks going on so far this season.

Shameless- Show just started this season and it is pretty awesome. Basically it's a really poor family that gets by through less than legal means when they can. It is pretty hilarious and every character is their own special kind of fucked up.

Reccomandation-Spartacus: Gods of the Arena

If 300 was an hour long show that aired on Friday nights it would the Spartacus show on STARZ. The show is the very definition of testosterone, as in it's full of people being killed and sex...lots and lots of sex.

The show started off with "Spartacus: Blood and Sand" but the main actor developed cancer, so they made this prequel "gods of the arena" to bide time for the cancer to go into remission, unfortunately that wasn't the case so they'll now have to find a new actor to play the title role.

God of the arena just finished it's season and I wish I had started reviewing shows so I could go into the details of the show that made it so great without giving away spoilers but what I can do is this

For all you first time viewers out there this means you can view the first 2 seasons in chronological order which is kinda neat.

It's main draw is it's aggression but really the show has much better writing than you'd think it should. Most characters are well thought out, given conflicts and some redeeming qualities. the finale to both seasons have left me in awe.

Also if you wanna have some fun with this show you can turn it into a drinking game. Take a drink every time you hear "cock" "ass" and take a shot if you hear the first 2 words used in the same sentence. I doubt you'll remember the night.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

127 Hours

Just watched it. First of all, I'll admit to having a man crush on James Franco. Everything he does I love (spider-man 3 is exempt from this). But really I had 2nd thoughts about a movie where most of it was a guy standing by a rock. I was wrong.

Something you might have gleamed from previous entry's on here is that I'm not an overly emotional fellow. In fact some time ago I pretty much decided to just shut them off. Of course I still experience some feelings ya, but for the most part I've become a bitter cynic when it comes to all things in the world and nothing really gets to me.

After watching this movie I cried man tears. I believe there were 3 total, but I haven't cried since middle school when I was going through my emo phase, so that's around 10 years of holding back on emotional outbursts. But this movie, the end it just hits you with that jolt of happiness that everything worked out, it was an experience I've never felt before.

Anyways just watch the movie.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Impromptu rant

k so I've been drinking so this is rather spur of the moment but seriously...Old Navy commercials...does anyone else feel like they are being lobotomized every time these things pop up? I mean I get that commercials are just a accepted annoyance when it comes to watching TV and I know that these companys are pouring lots of money into these things to make you watch 30 seconds and be compelled to buy their who the flying fuck watches an old navy commercial and thinks to themselves "I NEED TO GO SHOPPING!!!"? The fucking talking mannequins, this newest one with the dancing music video about jeans. They are just....gah it boggles my mind to figure out how the hell these things actually work on people. 

Does anyone else get annoyed by these things? Or am just being irrationally hateful? Fuck it

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Still alive

Sorry i've been neglecting this. time just gets away from me and I forget to update this sucka. Will have a proper update in the next day or so, few more story's and a rant on "sexting" to look forward to.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Sage Wisdom

"...I just don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die." - MrGarrison 

Wednesday, February 16, 2011


In honor of The Rock returning to wrestling this monday I figure I'd share a kinda funny anicdote I have involving wrestling.

Me and a buddy were hanging out and just got back to my house after going for a bowl cruise. Go inside and start channel flipping and we see that SMACKDOWN! is on television. Both me and my friend are reformed pro-wrestling lovers. I haven't watched it in a while but when I was channel flipping and saw wrestling and then changed the channel he and I took a second to register what we just saw and both went something like "OH DUDE!" and yea we ended up watching wrestling for a bit. Both of us nostalgia'd hardcore. So we were watching it, just trying to figure out wtf was going on since it's been years either of us had watched it and had no clue who was the bad guys, who was the good guys and why who hated who.

Eventually we got to talking about the games.

"Oh man, I used to play the shit out of those Smackdown! games, Here comes the pain was the shit!"-Me
"Dude...didn't they just release a new game, smackdown vs raw or some shit like that?" -my friend
"....what time does best buy close?"
*friend checks watch*
"we can make it."
"Well let's fuckin go!"

So we drove to best buy and I bought the game and it was one of the best decisions I have ever made.

Monday, February 14, 2011

How I DID lose my virginity

Normally Valentines day is just a big reminder that I'm single. Not really an issue since really, I've tried the whole relationship thing on more that one occasion and I'm kinda terrible at it. But this day also serves as another kind of reminder for me, something that is a lot more fun to think about than me sucking relationships, the day I lost my dreaded V-card.

Since the incident at Cody Vegas me and Britney had developed a kind of friends with benefits type situation. That went on mostly fine for a few months until I managed to screw things up on a epic scale when I started to have a thing with her OTHER best friend. That started a whole shit storm of female drama and now those 2 girls that were once inseparable before me no longer speak. I was able to eventually patch things up with Britney's friend first and then later on with Britney (how I manged this while they still hate each other, not sure) but eventually me and Britney just sort of naturally fell into our old habits of her coming to my apartment and giving me head.

We never got past oral because as I had alluded to in the "Coming of Age Story: Part Two" the prospect of sex more or less terrified me since well...I was scared of the vag. I can't really explain it, maybe it was because I was exposed to hardcore porn at way too young of an age and seeing some girl spread eagle spreading something open that I have never seen before traumatized me on some kind of level. While others looked at the vajay-jay with yearning, all I saw was the sarlac pit monster from Return of The Jedi. It took one of my ex's more or less forcing me into a situation where I'd have to touch it and lick it for me to ever do it. Even while it wasn't anywhere near as bad as I had thought it would be, it still made me gag slightly and I couldn't get over the weirdness of how the vag felt on the inside. Seriously it was like some kind of jelly cave.

Anyways so Britney is over and we are fooling around and I'm getting ready to get my pants off so i can get my BJ and just be a happy dude but that wasn't in the cards tonight. While I was gettin into the motions Britney mentioned about how dry her mouth was. Sure kind of an obvious sign, but I was in full on horny mode and all I knew was that something was going to be happening down in my pants soon.

I kept trying but she remained insistent that nothing was going into her mouth tonight. So there I was with a full on boner in "I need to get off" mode and my only outlet was closed for shop. Could of tried for a handjob but really no girl knows how to jerk off a guy properly. Since puberty I've been doing it like 3+ times a day, she just can't beat that kind of experience. So no mouth, her hands were just not interested and that left me with one option. I was a lot more resistant to the idea of actually having sex then I'd like to admit. I mean really if the younger me knew that I could have gotten laid months ago if I had just took off her pants, he would probably kick me in the balls. But still it just seemed like a huge step and really I was pretty clueless as to what to do. I mean yeah I have seen plenty of the X-rated movies in my day but there's a huge difference between seeing and doing. But really, the second she decided that I wasn't going to be getting head that night my fate was sealed, I couldn't in good conscious just say 'well I guess we aren't doing anything tonight" plus really she had been gettin by on just fooling around blowing me for months. I owed her, honestly don't know how I got away with some of the shit I got away with, with that girl.

So got the condom out, put it on and was all set to do it. Right off the bat though ran into the issue. I mean, I know my female anatomy but I still had quite the issue of gettin it in. Eventually she just had to do it for me. The sensation was....good. Can definitely see why I've been craving this for so long despite my weird vaginal phobias. But still there were some kinks. For one thing for every like 5 thrusts, i would get over eager and pull back to far and it would pop out, which would start over the whole "where the fuck did it go" search. Really the whole thing quickly just became more frustrating then fun  so I kinda just....pulled out, rolled over and went to bed without either of us finishing.

Yeah, real great thing to do I know but it was just pissing me off and I was sick of it. Though I will say though my 1st time was anything but a success, got to try again with her soon after and at least I was able to 2 minutes later. It went like that for a few more times until it all just sorta clicked and was able to last long enough to watch an episode of Nip/Tuck or two while we were going at it, and both of us were able to get off, her a lot more times than me.

But yeah, that's how I lost my virginity which somehow ended up on valentines day. Though technically we started going at it around like 11:50 something at night on the 13th....but February 13th is my mom's birthday so i'll much rather say I lost my virginity on valentines day than on my mom's birthday.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Sage Wisdom

Once you've seen what a girl looks like with your dick in her mouth...there's no going back to being just friends.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

How I learned to never mock a drunk mans T-Shirt

So I had just started school in South Dakota. The first few weeks there I was the very definition of a shut in. I didn't know anyone in the state and only took a few classes that semester so my exposure to people there was limited. My assigned roommate decided to drop out before I shown up so even the one person I would have been forced to interact with was gone so I mostly kept to myself. Eventually the dorm's forced a roommate upon me because I had a corner room which was the biggest room on the floor and they felt that it wasn't fair to the people cramped together that I should have a big ass room to myself. So they assigned me some dude from the baseball team who was from Canada. He was friendly enough though I was very perplexed at the site of a Canadian wigger. I thought that was just an American phenomenon but nope, even white boys from the great white north like to pretend they are black. He was from Winnipeg though so maybe that city was "hood" enough to justify his behavior....but I really doubt the city's up in Canada are anything like our city's. 

Walking cliche beside the kid was pretty cool and that combined with the fact he was on the baseball team meant he provided me with a social opening for me to finally integrate myself into the Sodak social scene. So after he moved in that weekend there was a keggar he invited me to tag along with. Sodak partys are somewhat different then what I'm used to. They basically do all the things me and my friends back in Minnesota make fun of. Guys in cowboy hats group together and talk about their trucks non-stop. The girls are divided up between the tomboyish farm girls and the girls that doll themselves up to the point that I have to think they are in a stage of massive denial of their surroundings. I quickly found that I really have nothing to say to any of these people. So I stuck to the only thing I knew that had universal appeal that everyone no matter what social background your fun loves; booze and weed.  It's probably not healthy for me to use alcohol as a social crutch, but really it's the only thing that keeps me from being stuck in my head all night.They call it liquid courage for a reason right?

So after downing a few beers quickly and starting my own circle with a bunch of guys decked out in flannel in a non-ironic fashion I finally felt comfortable amongst these country folk. The downside to my comfort is that by nature I'm kind of a mouthy asshole. I think the only reason I haven't gotten my ass beat yet in my life is because either by sheer luck or unconsciously I tend to surround myself with friends who are very large and intimidating. But I was out here on my own and I haven't earned anyways respect to have my back. So I was making my rounds around the house, walk to the basement, get bored, move the living room upstairs, get bored, go out to the garage. Found some girl, talked to her for a bit, she mentioned she had a boyfriend. I said something along the lines of "and you think I care?" she mentioned he is a very large man. Me in my cocky state think I'm untouchable and say something like "whatever I could take him." Somehow this conversation didn't get me in any trouble at all. Eventually I found the girl to be boring and found a bunch of the baseball guys standing around so i went over there.

This one obviously drunk dude who has a good 6 inches on me looks at me up and down. At this point I should probably describe what I was wearing. To put it simply I don't have any sense of fashion at all. All of high school I wore just black. I wasn't a goth kid or anything like that (though plenty of people thought I was a satanist, but that probably had more to do with me constantly saying how much I hated everyone and my sociology project that I did about Satanism).But no, I just wore black because black goes with everything and it made getting dressed in 2 minutes a lot easier if I didn't have to think about what I was wearing and just threw on whatever smelled clean. Since then my wardrobe has expanded somewhat and I have some blue jeans and hoody's in different colors. My grandpa got me a denim jacket for christmas that had fleece on the inside. Not normally my thing but I dress for practicality and in a South Dakota winter that jacket seemed very practical. So I was wearing my denim jacket with my blue jeans, which apparently is something a person shouldn't do. So back to the large man looking me down, he finally says "Who the fuck wears a denim jacket with blue jeans?"

This is the downfall of alcohol. Rational me would have seen the man is obviously drunk beyond repair and given his size I should have thought of a neutral response that wouldn't have incurred any hostility towards me. Maybe I should have shown him something shiny to distract him while I retreated back inside the house. These are all good ideas, and much better than what I actually did. I looked the guy up and down matching his actions trying to show him that I could do the same thing to him. I noticed he was wearing a t-shirt for the college. We were pretty much like 2 blocks away from the school. So after looking him up and down I say to him "Well who the fuck wears a school shirt when you live right on campus? Kinda redundant don't ya think?"

Apparently this was the wrong thing to say.

For a person at his level of intoxication he moved surprisingly fast. Before I could even react he charged at me grabbed me by the collar, lifted me up and then rammed me up against the wall. Logic would dictate that I should be terrified by this, but fortunately for myself I am beyond logic at this point and have entered insanity.


As he is yelling this at me I am laughing my ass off. Not just a chuckle mind you, or a mischievous chortle. I am howling. The whole situation was ridiculous. I figured one day my mouth was going to get me into trouble. I didn't count on the fact that it was going to happen while in South Dakota, and for the gayest reason ever....because he didn't like my outfit and by extension me making fun of his choice in t-shirts. Maybe if the guy was a little more sober me laughing might have disarmed the situation a little bit. When someone is taking something very seriously and the other person treats it like a joke, more often then not the serious person will lose interest, it's like trying to play tag with a person who doesn't know your playing and is just standing still.

But despite my valiant effort of laughing, this man was not detererd. He persisted on yelling the same things over again about how it was his house and that his choice in fashion was perfectly adequate. I guess he decided that these words weren't doing enough to me and he dropped me and I see his right arm pull back. I don't know how other people react to imminent danger but whenever I'm in a situation that potentially is about to go badly (like losing control of a car on ice) I tend to get all out of body and observe the situation. So I see his arm go back and I just take the moment to just watch the whole situation unfold and review it.

"yup...I'm about to get hit in the face because I wore this jacket"

Fortunately in real life this whole situation happened a lot faster then it takes to describe it and right about here is when someone in the garage full of people came to my rescue and pulled the guy off of me. They pull him back inside and I get the typical "are you ok?" questions and concerned looks. I'm still laughing and have a huge smile on my face. I ask where's the beer's at, the other guy who lives there tells me I can have all the beer I want as a way to make amends. Apparently that dude has a history of going ape while drunk. He tells me this one time he he was sitting on the couch eating chips and that same drunk guy walked in and saw him and said

"Are you eating chips?!"
He then proceeded to jump on him and try and fight according to the story. I laughed. Rest of the night was uneventful. Next day while I was eating breakfast in the student center the drunk guy found me and apologized. I said it was fine. Really I was ok with it, I have flown into uncontrollable rage whilst wasted before, it's not anything personal. He didn't really seem to want me to accept the apology so easily but eventually he buggered off. Maybe I should have made him give me money or something since he seemed so concerned with making it up to me. But life went on, though I didn't go to any more party's at that house.

And since then I have NEVER worn my denim jacket with blue jeans at the same time.

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Cody Vegas

Firstly, 200 followers! Thanks to all of you who have been reading so far.

All right then now story time. So this takes place a few months after graduating from High School. I had just gotten out of a relationship with a girl with whom at the time I was convinced I was in love with. Looking back on it now, I realize I was more in love with the idea of being in love with someone than actual infatuation with her. But at the time I was completely ruined and had resolved to man whore myself to any girl that'll have me. So I started flirting with this one girl Britney over myspace (oh those were the days) and her friend Sasha that she introduced me to. Britney was a cute girl but had major self-esteem issues and a bit dramtic. Sasha was a bit of an oddity to me, she was cute sure but really she seemed to get more male attention than what seemed warranted. Anyways I had started out focusing on Britney but Sasha was a lot more forward and confident so I set my sites on her. One night I was talkin with Sasha and she was going on about how she and her boyfriend just broke up a couple of days ago and then she says something to me along the lines of "The best way to get over a guy is to get on top of one.". Since I was more or less in the same state of mind as her this was great news for me and she later invited me to party with her and Britney at this older dudes house.

Britney and Sasha pick me up from my house along with some dude named Cody. Not long into the car ride Sasha pull me in for a kiss, it wasn't anything explicit, just a step over a peck really but still it was rather random and a good sign for how the rest of the night was going to go. So we go to this Cody's guys house to drink and...well really that's it. Britney and Sasha always referred to his place as Cody Vegas because of that stupid vegas ad campaign "what happens in vegas, stays in vegas" and I guess crazy shit goes down here. I remember this was the first time I had UV blue. They had a huge bottle of it and I ended up taking straight pulls from that most of the night. Eventually these 2 other girls I didn't know showed up, they seem to be more of Cody's age so left me kinda intimidated but I was quickly becoming more and more intoxicated so such thoughts were gone as soon as they came. We ended up breaking out the sex dice, though the name is rather misleading, foreplay dice would be a more appropriate title. But really considering it was just 2 guys with 4 chicks it all worked out pretty well. Lots of kissing and licking went on. By this point in the night everyone was pretty trashed. Memory is slightly blurry at this part of the story but I think around here is when the other girls left and we all went outside and hit the bong.

At this point I'm beyond fucked up and everyone else is at a decent level of inebriation as well. Somewhere at this time I have no idea where cody went. I think he just went to his bed and passed out. But anyways right around here is when me and Sasha decided that we were just going to start going at it hardcore, all the while her friend Britney is sitting on the otherside of the couch just watching TV and trying to be polite and not stare...or squirt us with a spray bottle. I'm pretty sure it was because we were both fucked up, but while Sasha and I were going at it, it was a real mess. She kept hitting me with her teeth, our mouths weren't in rhythem at all so it was just weird, but at the same time we were both beyond horny so even though we knew it was a disaster, we just kept going at it, at least for a little while. At one point Sasha started saying something along the lines of "ok...this feels good...but we shouldn't..." and I suppose I should have stopped there, but I was drunk and was in the motion of things, plus she said it felt good so I didn't really think anything of it, can't really be that much of a protest if she's moaning in between the words. Maybe she got weirded out about making out with a guy and dry humping in front of her best friend. At one point she got up and grabbed my hand and we started walking....somewhere but we just sorta ended up collapsing on the floor and going at it on the rug. That went on for a bit until I think she finally got a moment of clarity, that maybe making out/dry humping a guy you only kinda know right in front of your best friend isn't really a good idea. So she just kinda got up and said that was it and sat on the couch. Sure I was disappointed but I was barely coherent really so I didn't feel like arguing.

Though it was all for the best though since really a few minutes later Sasha had to throw up. I tried to be a gentleman and hold her hair and all that shit but eventually I just got bored and realized that most of the hair I was holding had slid out, plus I was kneeling on my knee and that was hurting so I just eventually said fuck this and left. Left the bathroom to find Britney had turned the couch into a pullout bed. I told her that maybe she should check on her friend. She left and I ended up channel flipping for what feels like forever. I think the only thing on TV was Inuyasha....and I hate that show. Britney eventually came out of the bathroom and laid down on the pull out with me. We got to talkin, I guess she was going through some family stuff, I can't recall any of it though. Over the years I have perfected a series of head nods and grunts to make while women are talking to give the impression that one is listening when really you have no clue what they are talking about. So really this girl I'm pretty sure was pouring out her heart to me with all of her family drama, and I was just nodding my head and playing with her hair (I was still pretty stoned). She might have caught on, because the discussion went towards hair for a little bit and then she said "You know, if you wanna fool around, we can do that." I would say this came out of no where but really there was a lot of sexual tension at that point. Really  I was planning on hooking up with her until Sasha just showed up as the easier route, but it looked like on that night I was going to be able to have my cake and eat it to.

So I was on top of Britney and we were going at it even harder than I was with Sasha earlier. For some reason Britney wouldn't let me take her shirt off but she did let me pop her tits out of her top so I guess everyone won in that situation. At some point during this my dick had popped through the slit in my boxer shorts and was being rubbed against the jeans. In my head I knew this was a bad thing but I was too drunk and stoned to really register the possible ramifications of that and just continued to dry hump. Eventually Britney Rolled me over and undid my belt saying "It's time to meet Axle." Axle of course, is what I named my penis. That right there is one of my favorite things a female has ever said to me. So she gets my junk out and starts jerkin me off a bit. That goes on for like half a minute before I subtly hint at her that I would prefer a different method of stimulation (I kinda pushed her down) and before you know it I'm gettin a bj.

Everything is going splendid until Sasha decides this is a perfect opportunity to leave the bathroom. Britney quickly rolls off of me and i try and tuck everything in and get my pants on. Thankfully Sasha is more of a zombie than anything else at this point. So while me and Britney are pretending to be asleep or whatever Sasha just kinda plops down on the pull-out bed right in between us. So we all just kinda lay there until Sasha starts snoring. Me and Britney then go off and kinda wander off behind the pool table and make-out a bit and well really I wasn't sure what I was doing. We then decided to to the bathroom for more privacy and from there we made out somemore, I took off my pants and got head while sitting on the toilet. It was a decent blow job all things considered. I kinda felt sorry for Britney since really I tend to last a long time, so while she started out enthusiastic, it was becoming obvious that she just wanted it to finish. I imagine the whole thing is very taxing on the neck. But eventually I did finish and much to my surprise she was a swallower, which I haven't encountered yet in my sex life. Not sure why I found that site satisfying watching her do that but it was. Me being a really classy guy, second I was done I just put on my pants, walked out the bathrrom and fell asleep on the couch. Next day I wake up, got this big scab on my dick as a result from the dry humping and my dick rubbing against my jeans.

Still worth it though, gotta hook up with 2 best friends in the same night and really besides my battle wound, there wasn't any drama from me being a man whore that night so that was nice. I guess what happens in Cody Vegas does stay in Cody Vegas.....except when I write about it on the internet.......

Monday, February 7, 2011

Sage Wisdom

If a girl has a quote from Marilyn Monroe on her facebook...odds are she's easy. 

Late Night Rambles: Prostitution, Strippers & Porn

I find that inspiration to write tends to strike me right around midnight or in the wee hours of the morning. Seeing as how I started this blog to get myself writing again and to use this as an outlet for whatever viewpoints I have, seems like a waste if I didn't put these thoughts on here while they are still fresh. So technically this is the 2nd (the first one being my rant about the use of love in TV and movies) out of hopefully many in a series me rambling about whatever.

Anyways one thing that always struck me as odd is how prostitution, stripping and pornography has always been construed as a objectification of women and a product of chauvinism and the like. Frankly I've always viewed it as the opposite. In all of the above professions it's the women who actually hold the power in there domain.

With porn I will admit that some of it can be rather fucked up, but really in the internet age if you really want to find something that's fucked up it's out there, on both ends of the spectrum. But one thing that I've noticed in a lot of porns is that really if they are attempting to have any kind of "story" in it, it's the woman who is instigating the sex to the point of bordering on sexual harassment, but well it's a porn and everyone leaves happy. I haven't really done any research on this but the top internet porn providers are probably Brazzers, bangbros and naughty america. All of their porns follow a sort of theme, as in they play to a niche for the viewer like milfs/sex at work/sex at school etc. Way most of these usually go is that the female star usually is in trouble or see's a man that she wants. If she's in trouble she'll use her body to get out of it. If she see's a guy she wants then she'll keep making advances despite the guy saying no until they both are going at it. I know it's just porn but really the underlying theme here is that these woman are using their feminine wiles to either get what they want or to escape any sort of consequences. These women are the ones in power and we (males) are totally powerless. Even in some of the rough sex porn while the woman is receive the brunt of it, it's done under her allowance, she controls everything.

Strippers are slightly different but still follow the same lines. I've talked to some girls about this and what I gathered from their feelings on the topic is that the thought of guys sitting around and just staring at a girl who's dancing for them naked is demeaning. Granted when you paint it in that light it looks kinda bad but let's take step back and look at the whole picture shall we? Who is really the one that is really being demeaned here? the person dancing and showing off their money? Or the patrons, who are need to see a woman's body so bad that they are actually paying for it? Not that I'm knocking guys who go to strip joins, I've been to a gentleman's club once or twice in my day and I rather enjoyed myself there but you gotta look at it for what it is. The women there have what we desire and they are presenting it for us, but at best we only get a tease of a lap dance while there and that's after having to pay even more for it plus tip.

As for prostitution well let me just start this off saying I have no idea why it's illegal in any free country. But here in the states, everyone seem to has it in their head that sex is a bad thing and I have never been able to wrap my head around that. If you can pay a massage therapist to run their hands all over you in order for you to be RELAXED and to feel good or in other words, for PLEASURE, then why the hell can't I pay a girl to ride me? Because I honestly feel the most relaxed and pleasure post-orgasm. There is the question of safety for the working girls (or boys, they are out there) either be it personal or health wise (diseases and the like). But if it was federally regulated with mandatory health check ups, which are required for other such professions, then I don't see why we can't do that for this job as well. There is the question of is it moral to have such things legal, well firstly I don't think any laws should be made off of morals. Laws are their for our safety and for the good of society. Having sex available for purchase won't make the buildings burn and anarchy reign. Some would say it's sexist to try and buy a woman for sex, but really take the sex out of the equation we all are whores on some level. We sell our time, our minds, our patience, our bodies in other ways to our jobs so we can get by and make money. Also along with the stripping thing, is it really sexist when once again it's the woman in control of the whole transaction? The lady of the night sets all the rules, and the buyer is a person who is in need of the product of sex to the point that they have to buy it.

Maybe society still looks down on these things because if my conclusions are actually right then it just shows that woman are in control of more things than we'd like, and in a male dominated society, it's scaring the old white men shitless. More I think about it the more I think we all got it wrong and that humans are more Matriarchal as a species rather than Patriarchal.

I dunno, it's almost 3 am here, I have to get up for school in a about 3 hours...I should sleep.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Super Bowl

Not really sure who to root for or to even care. I live in Minnesota so it really goes against everything I hold dear to root for the packers. Also a kid I went to high school with is a tight end for the Steelers so they have that going for them. But really the Steelers are kind of a douchey team so not a huge fan of them.

But really none of this really matters. I mean really it's just football. I mean I appreciate sporting events as much as the next red blooded male, but I have a hard time getting as psyched up as everyone else does for this. I mean it's just a game after all. Whoever wins has no effect on my life whatsoever. But I guess it's kinda fun to just get caught up in the excitement along with everyone. It's pretty much one of the best excuses to get trashed on a sunday night.

Anyways stay posted, will have another ridiculous sex story for ya'll in the next day or so.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Love in Television and Movies

This has been a kind of pet peeve of mine while watching movies and TV. In almost every show there is the point where the guy chases down the girl and confesses his unyielding love and devotion for her. In this conversation the guy will ALWAYS tell her just how beautiful she is. Always a good thing to say to a girl sure but the thing I can't wrap my mind around is that well I don't think beauty is really a good reason to love a person. Sure physical attraction is a must in any relationship, after all the desire to see the other person naked is really the only difference between a good friendship and a actual relationship.

A persons physical appeal is just a result of good luck in a combination of genes when being born. Really the only physical part a person has any control over is their weight, and/or the use of make up and even that is superficial. So all of these people attribute the main reason they are in love because they just really dig the way a person looks, really the shallowest reason ever to just like someone. Whenever I have touted the reasons of my affection onto someone I always made it a point to to tell them things about them that made them desirable to me, leaving the physical parts somewhere in the middle or an afterthought, trying to show that there was more to her appeal to me than just their aesthetic appeal for me. But even then I had a friend of mine tell me how when she had a guy compliment her, she was confused that he would just say how she liked how smart she was. I had to explain at least from my point of view that he was kinda doing what I like to do, pointing out personality aspects as a reason for attraction instead of just saying that he likes her because she's hot. But she still would rather be called pretty from what I gathered.

I dunno, this is just kind of a ramble more than anything else. I just find it weird that in the way our culture places such value in physical beauty when really that is one of the least important part of a relationship since just looking at something beautiful can only make you so happy.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Link Dump

As an avid internet surfer I tend to stumble across funny things off the internet. Sometimes these things are worth sharing. Before I would just spam peoples feeds on facebook with this, but eventually I realized I was probably just annoying everyone and I'm probably blocked by a bunch of people on facebook by now. So I've decided to post my internet findings on here. Plus this way I am still contributing something in between story's.

Someone put together all the Mcbain clips from the Simpsons and it actually follows a plot.

the URL says it all

7 myths that shouldn't be true

A supercut of midgets being hurt.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011


Woo landmark! Will try and be more constant with my updates. The posts coming up may be a bit shorter and/or be completely different since really I only have so many stories where things went wrong sexually or the like. But thanks for following and the feedback guys.

How I Did Not Lose My Virginity

Hey ya'll, sorry for the gaps in between posts. Full-Time student and just general apathy can be a bit of a hindrance. Anyways STORY TIME!

This bit takes place before both "Coming of Age Story's". That's right, this blog is getting all Tarantino on you. I think this was around October of 2006. It was homecoming and my senior year in High School. But these facts didn't really matter since my school spirit was about as existent as my sex life at the time. Seeing as how at this point in my life I've have yet to even make out with a girl...yeah I didn't give a shit about my high school's homecoming and the football game at all. I knew some friends of mine were planning on going but I pretty much had planned to stay home and play Halo 2 (oh those were the days...) or something. But a friend of mine was going to his old schools homecoming game to hang out with his old crew and asked if I wanted to come along. Now this friend of mine was kind of a anomaly because well he was one of the few minority's we had in our town. My High School town was ALL white with a few asians thrown in on occasion and we had a black kid for a few weeks before the family moved again. Anyways my friend was a half white/half mexican who was raised by his all black stepfather. He grew up in one of the more ghettoish suburbs (as in it was like 10 minutes from the city) so he always acted more "hood" then any of us. Now why am I bringing these things up? Glad you asked imaginary person. You see whenever my friend visited his old friends he would tell us how they would all get together and call some girls and would either run train on her or each one would have their own girl to get head from or whatever they fancied. Now maybe it was because at that time I hadn't developed any kind of game at all, but we didn't do things like that in our safe little white bred town. But this was the norm there (may also have something to do with him and his friends were all tall muscular football players) and I got invited to hang with people and pretty much guaranteed to get laid. As a virgin who hadn't even kissed a girl at the time this sounded VERY appealing. So I went with my friend to his old school's homecoming game.

It's a very curious thing going from a white dominated area to a more urban setting. I was very much out of my element but I enjoyed myself at the football game none the less. My friends old best bud Dennis was a wide receiver and was actually good at it so it was cool watching him burn the defense. Eventually the football game ended, and then we waited around for what seemed like forever and eventually Dennis was ready to leave. Memory gets a little hazy as to what happens right after this point. I think we drove to the city and went to some random cook-off thing. I just remember it was weird, though good food though. Soul food is good food. Then we left the city and went to some random dude's house who I swear looked just like 50 cent. I'm not being racist either, he had the white do-rag and everything. Anyways memory gets hazy again.....I think we watched soccer....I may be getting my time-lines mixed up but meh, fuck it, it's not like ya'll will know the discrepancies.

Anyways so it was me, my friend and these 2 other dudes chilling. They were calling girls to "smash on" and it was proving more difficult then thought. Eventually they found a girl down to fuck in the middle of nowhere. So we all piled into the car and drove off to the boonies and got the girl. She was....homely. Not an uggo but she was one of those girls that puts out just so she can get the attention she so clearly desires. Kinda sad, it was weird seeing an actual slut. We drive around and the 2 guys in the back are already getting all grabby with the girl trying to get a blowjob or something. I'm already kinda regretting my decision to come out here. Not sure what I was expecting but now finding myself in the reality of the situation left me feeling very uncomfortable. We drive to some closed supermarket and park behind it. Since my friend was driving us around he got the first turn with her. He hops into the backseat and me and the 2 other guys are waiting outside the car for our turns, the "pussy waiting room" if you will. The two guys are trying to figure out how to talk the girl into letting them double team her. Not sure why they are so adamant about going at the same time, I always found the idea of double teaming a chick to be kinda gay for my tastes but hey whatever floats your boat.

The backseat door all of a sudden opens and my friend hops out with pants around ankles "AWWW SHIT, I got it all over my hand." I guess in the midst of pulling out he nutted all over his hand. We all laughed. The two other guys anyways go hop in the back with the girl, I guess they succeeded in convincing her for the double team. Me and my friend sat outside talking, he mentioned how me doing this maybe wasn't such a good idea. At this point I'd be the 4th person that would be inside of her this night. Whole thing seemed kinda grimy and I was anything but excited or aroused. But I really wanted to get laid or at least make out and grab some tit. But she did have just 3 other guys in her and who knows what was just her in her mouth. I'm pretty open minded but even I draw the line at some point. The two other guys finish and I decide that I'm not going to do anything. Yay morals (or something of that sort)!

We drive off and go to some party, once again I'm the only white person there, the girl we were with asked if she could crash the night at the dudes house we were at, he said sure if he can hit that. I was utterly astounded by this level of ho'ness that this girl had achieved. I played some madden and fell asleep on the couch somewhere. Woke up and we went back home the next day, turns out our football team lost (no surprise) and some of my chick friends were "really disappointed" in me. Though they gave me some slack when they found out I didn't do anything.

But after that night I vowed to never be in the "pussy waiting room" ever again.