Friday, January 21, 2011

The Hierarchy of Alcohol

So I'm at a party in some rental house with a bunch of people for new years. Walking around you will see that everyone has some sort of drink in hand. Most guys have their beers, girls have wine or are taking way too many shots of hard alcohol because it will give them attention. I walk upstairs start talking to a girl and she asks me what I was drinking. I pull out my bottle of UV blue mixed with mountain dew.

"What the fuck is with the high school drink?" she says.

I really wish I kept track of how many times I got comments similar to that on that night. I found the whole thing very perplexing. I mean I have seen TV characters give people shit for their taste in alcohol, but I thought it was just one of those occurrences that happen with only fictional characters. I was mistaken.

From what I understand if you a dick and a pair of balls, there are certain kinds of alcohol you are allowed to enjoy. As of course, a real man enjoys all kinds of beer (bonus points if it's foreign), any kind of whiskey, rum, vodka, scotch and I believe wine is acceptable if you are the kind of guy who walks around in a turtleneck. If it tastes like some sort of fruit then you are a flaming homosexual for drinking it. Hence that whole "bro icing bro's" trend from a few months back where they "embarrassed" their bro's by making them drink some booze that was meant for females.

This is the thing I don't understand about this mentality. I don't know ANYONE who is a seasoned alcohol drinker and does it just for the taste of it. None of these people sit around with the fireplace going, in their study with a fire roaring with a glass of scotch and they absorb the aroma of it. At my age, the only reason we drink is because A) We can now legally and B) so we can get fucking drunk.

Now I hear people say that when drinking that shouldn't be your main goal, but these people also sound like those supposed "sex experts" where they say the goal of sex shouldn't be to orgasm. I'm sure their logic makes sense to some people, but it just sounds bizarre and stupid to me. But I digress, everyone I know who drinks, does so because it makes them feel good and it's pretty much a license to do things you'll kinda regret but not really since they already wanted to do it but didn't have the balls to do so. My question is, why the fuck should it matter how you get said alcohol into your system?

I drink UV because it's in my price range, it's alcohol that you can drink straight if you are in a pinch and because I like it. I have had those fruity Smirnoff drinks as well where they taste like watermelon and I loved those. They have more alcohol in them compared to the beers that come in containers that size and they taste a hell of a lot better. I avoid whiskey now because the last time I had it, I blacked out a weekend and walked around my friends house naked and did the meat spin in front of them as I'm told. The smell of it makes me feel ill. I just don't understand how the taste of our alcohol somehow got turned into a "who's dick is bigger" contest. We're all here to get drunk, find a girl with low self-esteem and try and do something we'll both regret. Does it really matter how I get from Point A to Point B, if we are all going to end up in the same place anyways?

15 comments:

  1. Honestly, just be you. Don't do shit for the sheeple. If you build it, they will come.

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  2. oh yeah plz get rid of the captcha

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  3. dont get caught driving, it sucks.

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  4. I agree. Just tell them its fucken strong and it will be ok. Or stand your ground and tell them what they have is shit. I've found most people I know don't like beer so they understand

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  5. Don't tell them anything, people like that shit me it's better just to look at them questioningly and walk off.
    If you like it drink it

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  6. im with you, when your drinking something to just get drunk, what does it matter. i am 24 and i have drank alot of expensive wine for the flavor, i do wine tasting, ive sampled over 60 types of foriegn and domestic beers, but i still drink a colt 45 40 oz from the store all the time, or a steel reserve black can. shit, old e. eff them assholes. drink w/e the f u want. broary is for retard f4g5

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  7. I don't understand how every person has social expectations on drinking now.

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  8. i sip zimas all day and tell everyone to fuck off. following, glad to know there are dicks about alcohol everywhere.

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  9. nice insight, i look forward to drinking when im 21

    http://ectomorphmuscle.blogspot.com/

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    and i will return the favor ;)

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  11. great blog!

    im following for more great stories!

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  12. Ah man, I can relate so much.
    What's funny is that when I go to HUUUGE parties, no one cares and is just getting shitfaced and having a great time.
    But when I go to my smalltime college parties, everyone wants to judge everyone else and no one gets laid.

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  13. I definitely know about drinking in your price range. hahahaha.

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