So imagine my surprise when I had actually found myself with a girlfriend, though it was almost at the end of my senior year of high school, better late then never. She was a little bit on the quirky side and I my interest in her was minimal. But I wasn't in the position to be very picky and she gave out the impression of being easy so I decided to see where this would take me.
On the first day of us “officially” going out we met up after school and we talked for a little bit and she keeps giving me the impression that she is bat shit crazy, but she does it in a cute way so I was not running for the hills quite yet. We then walk to a somewhat secluded part of the school and that's when I got to make out for the first time in my life. It was very...anti-climactic. I'm not sure what I expected it to be like, maybe a euphoric sensation to rush through my body or to have "Ode To Joy" playing in the background. But once I started kissing I realized it was nothing more then just 2 pairs of lips pressed up against each other. But it was still fun to do so I kept on doing it. We were going at it for a while since I was eager to make up for lost time, but apparently we were busy for so long my ride home left without me...so she offered me a ride home.
The moment we get into get into her car she latches onto me like a face-hugger from the Alien movies. The making out turned into groping, hair pulling and crotch massaging, all of that fun stuff. When I was first getting to know her she said she was good at lap dances (did I mention she was easy?), so I asked her to do one so she gets on top and kinda dry humps me in the school parking lot. It really wasn't much of any sort of dance but I didn't mind. I was sitting there with a girl gyrating on top of me for a bit and then we go back to making out and her hand is massaging my male reproductive organ. I got particularly bold and decide to whip my dick out. Looking back on it, it was a pretty ballsy move but it paid off because she started giving me a hand job. Earlier in the day right when class got out, in my rush to go and fool around I forgot a key step in male urination and didn’t shake out the remaining drops of urine. Normally this only means you just have a tiny piss stain in your boxer shorts. But of course since I'm getting my first hand job that means that she's going to jerk out the remainder piddle. She didn't notice it at first but I did and in my bewilderment I didn't think and said out loud
"What the hell is that? No way that's semen I'm no way close to finishing."
Needless to say it kind of ruined the mood.
So I zipped up. Now I'm not sure how I quite managed this, I've asked female friends of mine and they seem pretty unanimous on that if a guy peed in their car the date would be over...but like I said this girl was a little “off” so somehow we started making out again, did that some more...and some more, pulled hair here and there maybe a boob grab there. There must have been something in the air that day but I got really gutsy and whipped it out again. But I didn't feel like having a hand job. So I lead her head down and she was more then willing to go down. As she goes down and I feel her lips around it...I was in complete and utter disbelief..........for about 1 second. She then comes back up almost immediately afterwards and says, "I think you've had enough." Now throughout the entire making out she would do this thing where she would lean back a lot trying to somewhat play hard to get and make me work for it, she thought it was cute but it annoyed the shit out of me. Now here she goes and puts her mouth around my unit for a second and then claims I’ve had enough? A man can only handle so much cock teasing.
So we leave the school parking lot and go to her house, and switch cars because her car was low on gas. We get into her moms car and she goes crazy on me while we are still in the garage. I am somewhat miffed about the BJ tease and decided to not make out with her and say that she's had enough. She drives me home while I suck on a tootsie pop that I found in the car. All the while she was massaging my crotch at stop signs and such. She may have had enough but I decided not to cut her off entirely.
We arrived at my house and I decide to lift the kissing ban and we made out madly. We do that for a while and I became bold ONCE AGAIN and tried for the blowjob. This time around she needed no persuasion. Out of all the physical things I've done that day, the blowjob was the only thing that lived up to the hype. It was really fun; in fact it got so intense I destroyed the tootsie pop prematurely. While she was down there she decided to try teeth............that was possibly the worst idea EVER. I had to yell in pain to get her to stop. The bite mark she left on my dick lasted 3 days. But I played through the pain and I let her continue. It was good but I felt weird just sitting there so I decided to try and cop a feel. I get under her shirt and start feeling her breast, I was feeling around for a nipple but couldn't find it and right about then she stopped sucking and said in a very deep and horrifying voice
"Wrong tit to fuck with!"…And proceeded to do what she kept on doing. At that moment I had a flashback to a prior phone conversation during which she said that she said before she had a tumor removed from her boob. I started to wonder if that meant she didn't have a nipple there, I remember hearing from a friend that his aunt had something like that happen to her and they had to tattoo a nipple on her. I just sort of sat there petrified. Even though I was still getting head this date has been one disaster after the other. But she just kept going at it and I started to get a little bored. I tried thinking about things in order to get myself to finish, I even thought about other women and that didn't work. I then realized that she had been down there for about 30 minutes and I was nowhere near to being done. She got tired and tried the hand job.
The only thing I remember thinking was: "Wow, I'm a lot better at that then she is." So I decided to jack myself off in front of her until my arm got tired and I was still nowhere near being finished. She then decided to get on top of me and dry hump yet again, and that was fun until my garage door came up. My first reflex was to push her off of me. I looked around madly but couldn't see a car anywhere. I finally noticed my mom's car sitting right outside of the driveway. I got out immediately while she backed out my driveway and headed into the house laughing about the impending conversation. But I forgot my family’s number 1 rule; if it's awkward...avoid it at all costs. My mom is notorious for avoiding any awkward situation so she didn't mention anything about what she saw, but she didn't really look me in the eye that day.
So in one day I went from the guy who hadn't ever made out with a girl, to the guy who on the first date peed in her car, got his dick bit, felt a no nipple tumor boob and possibly got caught by my mom (to this day she hasn't said anything about it). I'm not sure if that made me a man but at least it's a step forward.